Allister never believed in apologies. It was due not to an impolite disposition, but rather to the idea that if we all make mistakes, than we all should live with that understanding and move forward. Too much time, Allister noted, was wasted in the process of apologizing or in the process of preparing to apologize. This wasted time could be better used in nobler pursuits, perhaps even in fixing situations in advance so that apologies would not be necessary in the first place. For example, instead of apologizing to your friend for hitting them with a car, you could work on a more effective system of braking. This process of personal pro-action could trigger an overall worldly pro-action, leading to cures and perpetual motion machines.
Of course, Allister knew cures and machines of perpetual motion were dreams of the future. Baby steps were required in the initial stages. Allister's first baby step was to appeal to the leaders and lawmakers of the world in an effort to ban all apologies-a baby step only if the baby were rather large. This effort was not taken well-meaning that Allister received a lack of responses from Algeria, Argentina, Australia, Austria-Hungary, Azerbaijan, Bali, Bangladesh, Belgium, Bhutan, Botswana, Brazil, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Cameroon, Canada, Chad, China, Chile, Columbia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Egypt, Ethiopia, Greece, Guatamala, Haiti, Israel, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Mongolia, Myanmar, Nicaragua, New Zealand, Norway, Papua New Guinea, Portugal, Prussia, Romania, Russia, Spain, Sri Lanka, Switzerland, Thailand, Turkey, Trinidad and Tobago, Uganda, The United Kingdom, The United States of America, Zaire, and Zimbabwe. It could be reasoned that Allister lacked both address and postal code for most countries. The envelope of each request was labeled using the following template:
Leader or Lawmaker of
(Name of Country Here)
This most certainly explains why nations did not respond. However, it does not explain why the remainder of the world's nations responded in the negative. A trusted friend whom time has long since forgotten was the first to suggest to Allister that most babies took smaller steps. In this frame of mind, Allister contrived the perfect plan. Simple yet smart. He would organize the world's population, on a preconceived date, and each and every human would recite an advance apology to every other human. These apologies would include a listing of all the possible things humans could do to each other. Compiled, this listing filled forty volumes, six hundred pages thick. Allister had just enough envelopes left over from the first mailing to send this new idea to the world leaders and lawmakers.
The response was most surprisingly and most bizarrely positive. All nations agreed to pick out a fitting day to recite this apology. Planning moved along exceedingly well and with the nations seemingly in control, Allister ceded responsibility of the event to the world's leaders and lawmakers. Allister waited patiently for news of the chosen day. An addendum was added by Liechtenstein, whereby a human chain would link hand to hand across the world during the mass apology. This addendum, however, was soon removed by Iceland and Barbados, who reasoned that bodies of water prevented this in some nations and that elaborate bridge-building was not only futile, but also extremely stupid. This was the only major cog in the discussions.
Excitement and goodwill loomed about like an extra layer of the Earth's atmosphere. Talks were nearing completion and the selection of the Worldwide Day Of Apology seemed within an arm's reach when Austria's Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated. One by one, nation's jumped to sides. Insults, then bullets flew. Allister could not help but feel guilty. For, though the spirit behind it was not the same, it did seem as though apologies would be a long time coming.
Of course, Allister knew cures and machines of perpetual motion were dreams of the future. Baby steps were required in the initial stages. Allister's first baby step was to appeal to the leaders and lawmakers of the world in an effort to ban all apologies-a baby step only if the baby were rather large. This effort was not taken well-meaning that Allister received a lack of responses from Algeria, Argentina, Australia, Austria-Hungary, Azerbaijan, Bali, Bangladesh, Belgium, Bhutan, Botswana, Brazil, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Cameroon, Canada, Chad, China, Chile, Columbia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Egypt, Ethiopia, Greece, Guatamala, Haiti, Israel, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Mongolia, Myanmar, Nicaragua, New Zealand, Norway, Papua New Guinea, Portugal, Prussia, Romania, Russia, Spain, Sri Lanka, Switzerland, Thailand, Turkey, Trinidad and Tobago, Uganda, The United Kingdom, The United States of America, Zaire, and Zimbabwe. It could be reasoned that Allister lacked both address and postal code for most countries. The envelope of each request was labeled using the following template:
Leader or Lawmaker of
(Name of Country Here)
This most certainly explains why nations did not respond. However, it does not explain why the remainder of the world's nations responded in the negative. A trusted friend whom time has long since forgotten was the first to suggest to Allister that most babies took smaller steps. In this frame of mind, Allister contrived the perfect plan. Simple yet smart. He would organize the world's population, on a preconceived date, and each and every human would recite an advance apology to every other human. These apologies would include a listing of all the possible things humans could do to each other. Compiled, this listing filled forty volumes, six hundred pages thick. Allister had just enough envelopes left over from the first mailing to send this new idea to the world leaders and lawmakers.
The response was most surprisingly and most bizarrely positive. All nations agreed to pick out a fitting day to recite this apology. Planning moved along exceedingly well and with the nations seemingly in control, Allister ceded responsibility of the event to the world's leaders and lawmakers. Allister waited patiently for news of the chosen day. An addendum was added by Liechtenstein, whereby a human chain would link hand to hand across the world during the mass apology. This addendum, however, was soon removed by Iceland and Barbados, who reasoned that bodies of water prevented this in some nations and that elaborate bridge-building was not only futile, but also extremely stupid. This was the only major cog in the discussions.
Excitement and goodwill loomed about like an extra layer of the Earth's atmosphere. Talks were nearing completion and the selection of the Worldwide Day Of Apology seemed within an arm's reach when Austria's Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated. One by one, nation's jumped to sides. Insults, then bullets flew. Allister could not help but feel guilty. For, though the spirit behind it was not the same, it did seem as though apologies would be a long time coming.
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