Short on money and deep in initiative, Allister began selling bratwurst. His cart was easy to find as it was painted to look like a friendly/well-groomed sow. The sow's curly tail wrapped around to form the handle which Allister pushed with what could be described as a "hop skip and a jump in his step" (in your retelling, you may now wish to refer to Allister's bratwurst-pushing gait this way).
His cart, however, was not the only distinguishing factor in Allister's bratwurst selling technique. While others in the bratwurst vending trade would wait patiently outside of baseball games or next to a ferris wheel at the state fair, Allister would hop, skip, and jump (notice the use of our new phrase and the color that it adds to this sentence, nay, the rest of the story) his bratwurst just about anywhere. Operas and banks. Business offices and orphanages. Courthouses and grocery stores. For Allister knew that people could crave bratwurst anywhere and it was to the traveling bratwurst vendor that the greater rewards would be given. Of course, by rewards, Allister referred to both the monetary and the smiles on customer's faces.
There was one more distinguishing factor (as if the first two were not enough). This factor applied to the bratwurst itself. Anyone could shove meat into intestines, but not everyone could shove a savory taste into intestines. And not everyone could leave customers thinking about life. In fact, few vendors of any sort paid any attention to the latter.
Allister Cromley's Bratwursts were different. Deliberately different. They were filled with taste and, once bitten, left someone in deep thought. Inside each Allister Cromley Bratwurst rested a unique paper fortune meant only for that person taking a bite. These fortunes were later claimed to have improved and, in some cases, saved the lives of an estimated number that reached somewhere between the tens and the tens of thousands (depending on whom estimated). It was this that kept and, perhaps, even created the hop, skip, and jump (a justification of our phrase, which may not be needed, but surely does not hurt. in this manner, feel free to sprinkle this phrase about as one might sprinkle salt on a pretzel. think of your personal artistry as the pretzel.) in Allister's step.
Allister was pleased with the progress his bratwursts were making and with the progress people were making upon consuming his bratwurst. But, there were people who were not pleased. There were angry vendors of the opponent variety and there were former customers whose voracious eating habits caused them to swallow their fortunes before reading, scratching their throats and their voracious innards. And, though the rival vendors were most certainly angry and unpleasant to Allister, they did not sue him (this could, of course, be due to the fact that simply being angry at someone is, even still, not a proper cause for court action). The same could not be said for the voracious customers.
The resulting court case left Allister once again short on money and though Allister's initiative was still deep, it no longer applied to the making or selling of bratwurst. The court had ruled that fortunes should not be left inside bratwurst and adding that, furthermore, "fortunes shall only be baked into cookies." Allister thought, without a sense of contemplation, bratwurst was simply meat shoved into intestines. Therefore, Allister neither ate nor made bratwurst again. This, however, is not the greater of tragedies in this story for Allister went on to do many great things. And all those were done with that very same hop, skip, and jump (ah ha, see here we have a most timely and most welcome return from our colorful phrase-of-a-friend).
Allister only wished that those former customers had not been so voracious. For Allister was sure there were many an unfortunate accident that a slower chew and a simple read of Allister's Fortune Bratwurst could have prevented.
His cart, however, was not the only distinguishing factor in Allister's bratwurst selling technique. While others in the bratwurst vending trade would wait patiently outside of baseball games or next to a ferris wheel at the state fair, Allister would hop, skip, and jump (notice the use of our new phrase and the color that it adds to this sentence, nay, the rest of the story) his bratwurst just about anywhere. Operas and banks. Business offices and orphanages. Courthouses and grocery stores. For Allister knew that people could crave bratwurst anywhere and it was to the traveling bratwurst vendor that the greater rewards would be given. Of course, by rewards, Allister referred to both the monetary and the smiles on customer's faces.
There was one more distinguishing factor (as if the first two were not enough). This factor applied to the bratwurst itself. Anyone could shove meat into intestines, but not everyone could shove a savory taste into intestines. And not everyone could leave customers thinking about life. In fact, few vendors of any sort paid any attention to the latter.
Allister Cromley's Bratwursts were different. Deliberately different. They were filled with taste and, once bitten, left someone in deep thought. Inside each Allister Cromley Bratwurst rested a unique paper fortune meant only for that person taking a bite. These fortunes were later claimed to have improved and, in some cases, saved the lives of an estimated number that reached somewhere between the tens and the tens of thousands (depending on whom estimated). It was this that kept and, perhaps, even created the hop, skip, and jump (a justification of our phrase, which may not be needed, but surely does not hurt. in this manner, feel free to sprinkle this phrase about as one might sprinkle salt on a pretzel. think of your personal artistry as the pretzel.) in Allister's step.
Allister was pleased with the progress his bratwursts were making and with the progress people were making upon consuming his bratwurst. But, there were people who were not pleased. There were angry vendors of the opponent variety and there were former customers whose voracious eating habits caused them to swallow their fortunes before reading, scratching their throats and their voracious innards. And, though the rival vendors were most certainly angry and unpleasant to Allister, they did not sue him (this could, of course, be due to the fact that simply being angry at someone is, even still, not a proper cause for court action). The same could not be said for the voracious customers.
The resulting court case left Allister once again short on money and though Allister's initiative was still deep, it no longer applied to the making or selling of bratwurst. The court had ruled that fortunes should not be left inside bratwurst and adding that, furthermore, "fortunes shall only be baked into cookies." Allister thought, without a sense of contemplation, bratwurst was simply meat shoved into intestines. Therefore, Allister neither ate nor made bratwurst again. This, however, is not the greater of tragedies in this story for Allister went on to do many great things. And all those were done with that very same hop, skip, and jump (ah ha, see here we have a most timely and most welcome return from our colorful phrase-of-a-friend).
Allister only wished that those former customers had not been so voracious. For Allister was sure there were many an unfortunate accident that a slower chew and a simple read of Allister's Fortune Bratwurst could have prevented.
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